My Normal Instruments

Following on from my moodiness a few nights ago, it felt important for me that my next card would help me to get over it…… “Abandon normal instruments”. What does that mean? Hey? It made me moodier. I knew that gorgeous weather was coming up and here I was, with no concrete plans, not much to do, faced with the prospect of feeling like I was missing out. I felt quite sad. On Twitter my idols Owen and Grace are out there being heard and read, appearing on This Morning and actually having informed opinions and understanding the important stuff. Egypt scares me, Syria scares me, the EDL scares me, Unite perplexes me: and I don’t really get them. I suppose this post is about regretting who I’m not, wondering about who I could be, wishing I was ‘out there’ at the forefront of…… something.

Maybe this has been my boring, moaning script for too long; the proverbial ‘woe is me’ mentality. Maybe this mentality is my ‘instrument’, which often colours the way in which I view myself, and my life. So can I ‘abandon’ it, as my Oblique Strategies card instructs?

When I picked the card a few days ago, I didn’t think it had much mileage, but now I think that I might have made some changes without realising it…… I’ve gone from having no plans to having a rather packed calendar. I’m in the middle of a series of bbqs to which I have organised my attendance. I have been working my way through the newspaper and reminding myself that many people of ‘opinion’ are just as clueless as me. Brings to mind a song which goes “Well if you want it…. Go out and get it…. You’ve got to do it yourself! Ooooooooooh do it yourself!”. It’s a dance song, can’t remember who it’s by.

Anyway, that gross Katie Hopkins appeared on This Morning and I’d hate to be her. We might all make assumptions (correct or incorrect) based on somebody’s name but that does NOT mean we judge ourselves to be better than them. I would rather continue as a non-revered thoughtful thinker than be a moronic opinionist like her.

My new instrument is to celebrate the bits I like about myself rather than mourn the bits that aren’t there……. yet.

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